Red Hot Romance! 90 Days to a Sizzling Marriage

Monday, July 11th, 2016

 

Crosswalk asked us to create a 90 day, 13 week challenge to help move couples CLOSER.  Using some of the practical wisdom found in our books Red Hot Monogamy; Red Hot Romance Tips for Women52 Ways to Wow Your Husband; and Bill’s phone App: Her Best Friend, we have SIMPLIFIED and synthesized an easy to implement 10 week romance challenge. Below is the article we wrote for Crosswalk, then the sign up for a special ONCE A WEEK Romance Rev — a personal email from Bill and I that contains some extra helps plus two ideas for developing your marriage with a FOCUSED date and a FUN date for each week.

Your heart beats with anticipation when you round the block and head into your driveway. It skips a beat when you hear that special ringtone and see your mate’s face on your cell phone. Your smile widens as the one you love walks in the door. Your entire being longs to be with your spouse. Others want what you have—that spark and sizzle of a love that is on fire!

The couple in Song of Songs 8:7 felt this kind of love, saying, “Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away…”

Why do we long for intense, all-consuming love? It is because God designed us to give and receive love. “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Gen 2:24). With a little bit of focus, enthusiasm, and creativity, in a short time, it is possible to renovate and revive your marriage. Or if you feel your marriage is already on solid footing, a focused period dating your mate will enrich your love even more! Fanning the flame on passion is what the 90 Day Red Hot Romance Challenge is all about.

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What Bill and I have observed in our 36 years of marriage ministry is when couples hit a difficult patch, or one or both are feeling disinterested, disengaged or distracted, a marriage can be reignited when one of two things happens.

pam bill dating bc1. They both commit to be “all in” for a focused period of time so new skills can be learned and feelings of love can be rekindled as new happy and satisfying memories are experienced.

2. One of you, a husband or a wife, decides he or she is willing to try to “outlove” their spouse with God’s power and provision. When one person loves like God loves, it raises the possibility for God transform your marriage.

If you want a Red Hot Romance and a sizzling, satisfying, sex life, commit to the 90 Day Red Hot Romance Challenge to give God the time and opportunity to give you back those honeymoon feelings. Just like a diamond in a wedding ring has many facets, a strong marriage has unity in 13 different areas of intimacy. Here is a preview of the journey of love you two will travel:

Week 1:  Archival – The number one reason couple’s who have filed for divorce decide to pull their papers and stick it out is they remember how much they have already invested in their marriage. Just like a bellow blows and an ember sparks into a flame, a couple that feels their love is growing cold will find their romance ablaze again when they take a trip down memory lane. In this week, you will pull out memorabilia like your wedding album and video; retell your love story to your children; or create a “flashback” date and return to the place you met, first said, “I love you,” first kissed, had your first date, proposed or honeymooned.

Week 2: Social – While doing research for “Her Best Friend” phone App, Bill discovered that the primary her best friend ap cold lakecharacteristic of successful, long lasting marriages is that the husband and wife have become best friends. In this week, you will brainstorm a list of new activities you two can try TOGETHER with the goal of finding something you BOTH love doing. Each of you brainstorm a bucket list: things to do, classes to take, places to go, hobbies to learn.  Now compare lists, looking for common denominators. This might be the year to take that Pacific Rim Island cooking class that reminds you of that honeymoon in Hawaii! Or this could be the summer to have a weekly picnic at the pops symphony, or motorcycle to all the best burger places in the county.

Week 3: Nutritional – While writing Red Hot Romance Tips for Women, I discovered that science supports some of the mythological food aphrodisiacs. Creating a meal together using many of these heart healthy items can produce passion as you whisk, bake and taste-test delectable ingredients.  For a quick example, check out to power of beloved chocolate. 70 percent cocoa, a sweet, erotic staple, contains phenylethylamine which is linked to the release of endorphins. Dark chocolate increases the feelings of attraction between two people and causes a more intense and a longer brain buzz than kissing does.

song of s 3 4 red hot pam bill smWeek 4: Physical – You will be more likely to enjoy Red Hot Monogamy if you are ALIVE and well! Couples that workout together have more sex than the average couple. This is NOT about looking perfect, rather about feeling healthy and strong. Together you will discuss, decide and complete a health and wellness plan. Exercise releases happy endorphins, but passion itself has an upside for your health too. For example, kissing for 15 minutes burns 30 calories.

Week 5: Recreational – The longer you are married, the more likely you are working harder and playing less. This is the week to find an activity you BOTH enjoy! For example, during our children’s teen years we were so busy supporting their sports we forgot what sports we loved to do as a couple.  The year our first son launched into college we tried a variety of activities from cross country skiing to mountain biking in search of “the perfect set of sports.” We settled on sports of the sea: paddle boarding, kayaking, sailing, jetskiing and beachside biking.

Week 6: Vocational – Couples are often in conflict over who does what and when. Once a year, Bill and I sit down to make goals and decide what the priorities are in our careers and at home. This is also a good time to discuss and delegate chores and household, yard, and car maintenance responsibilities. In Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, we have a “What’s Important to You” worksheet that helps a husband and a wife see which areas of your personal and family life matter most to each of you. The person who cares the most about a particular priority should pick up that area—no matter if it breaks gender stereotypes. If he’sWafflesCover new a better cook and she loves to be outside mowing the lawn, go with it! A fun date this week could be a “trading places” swap. Change the side of the bed you sleep in, who drives the car when you are together, who cooks or does dishes or even spend time in each other’s work places if that is possible. It is amazing the appreciation that builds when you walk in each other’s shoes.

Week 7: Parental – People often ask us how our family gets along so well and arguments seem very rare. One of the top contributing factors to family unity is to have a clear plan. In 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make, we share how to create a family compass including a Mission, Motto, and Moniker (or crest), and our yearly parenting plan to help our sons become “Learners and Leaders who Love God.” As tm sons 10bpparents, your marriage is strengthened as you realize your marriage is about much more than just your own personal happiness. God calls us all to pass the baton of faith to the next generation. If you are newlyweds, and having children is still in the future, this might be a great time to take a parenting class, read a parenting book and discuss your views on child rearing. If you are empty nesters, you might decide to have a date that includes your grown kids and their significant others or the grandkids. Or maybe your date could be a scouting trip to check out venues for the next family reunion.

Week 8: Emotional – This world is hard on people. Like us, one or both of you might come from families of origin filled with dysfunction and drama. A date that includes couple’s counseling, a marriage workshop or retreat might be just the thing to repair broken hearts or broken dreams. To find a quality counselor in your area, we recommend a visit to your local Christian bookstore, ask your own Pastor or Marriage Ministry Director or contact ministries like AACC or Focus on the Family.  A favorite marriage tune up, with some of the best interpersonal communication tools, is a United Marriage Encounter getaway weekend. (If your marriage is in a tough place, we have a list of other resources in Marriage On the Rocks? Try Again!)

Week 9: Financial – Money is the number one area couples typically argue about! This week you will tacklewow laugh this area and decide what one choice would most help you two move forward in unity. You might decide to watch some Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University or Crown Financial videos, or sign up for a class. It might be the week to actually create a budget, or clip coupons and go on a “two for one” date. Romance doesn’t have to be expensive. While writing 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband, I posted a contest on social media and ask friends to give examples of “Dates on a Shoestring Budget.” The winner wrote: “We each get $5 ($10 if we’re lucky) we take turns going into a store while the other waits in the van… Usually Wal-Mart, Kwik Trip, ACE Hardware, or Good Will… Sometimes we have a drawing for which store.)  We each buy — without the others’ knowledge — whatever we want for “Date Night.”  Combining the two items into one date night is a hoot!  He might buy a Styrofoam cup of worms and a sixpack of Mountain Dew for a few hours of fishing — and I purchase a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle.”

fire hat red hot 60Week 10: Spiritual – Couples that attend church weekly, pray together daily and are in small group Bible studies with those who believe in long lasting love tend to also have a long lasting marriage and rate their sex life as more satisfying than the average couple. Mutual spiritual growth creates a pathway to true intimacy. God created us body, soul and spirit so as we seek to interweave our spiritual lives it builds trust, and trust is the key that unlocks freedom to enjoy your intimate life. Dates to develop your shared walk with God could include watching a Christian marriage video (like our Red Hot Date Night), or pop some popcorn and watch a movie produced by a Christian movie company like bestselling War Room or Fireproof; or attend a Christian music concert of a favorite or new artist.

Week 11: Inspirational – Even in marriage, it is “more blessed to give than receive.” Some of the sweetest memories Bill and I have are times we have done ministry together. We started as newlyweds teaching 4-year-old Sunday School, and more recently, God has us traveling the world equipping couples and families in various cultures on love, marriage and parenting. This week’s date is your opportunity to try a new ministry like serving food at a homeless shelter, gathering donations for a women’s center, teaching a children’s or teen class, or hosting a barbeque that reaches out to neighbors and friends that might not know Christ yet.  People are looking at your marriage and wondering “What is the power that helps them stay in love?” We sign all our books with that answer, “We love because He [God] first loved us” (1 John 4:19)

Week 12: Sensual – When all five senses are used in creating a date, that memory sticks! Researchers at hawaii bill pamCambridge discovered if you are “super surprised” then you “super learn” and more details of that experience lodge deeper in your memory. This week you will each plan a mini date using all five senses. One of our most memorable dates was when I surprised Bill at a conference he was attending. I had a picnic basic that included some of his favorite luau foods from the islands, lotions we brought back from Hawaii, candles in coconut shells, Hawaiian print sarongs and ukulele music by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole, and as we experienced all five senses, we spent the night, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”

Week 13: Sexual – Lack of time is the number one reason couples cite for not having frequent sexual relations. The goal of this 90 Day Red Hot Romance Challenge is to increase your frequency and satisfaction level of your intimate life. Most weeks, sexual expression will likely happen simply because you are paying greater attention to one another, but this week you will talk about your sex life. In the Old Testament, the word most used for sex is “to know” and that is really the goal, to know your mate head to toe, inside and out, body, soul and Spirit. Phil 2 encourages us to consider “others as more important than yourself” so this will be the night you keep your mate’s desires in mind.

two hands one heart beach sunset romanceIf you would like to join the Love-Wise 90 Day Red Hot Romance Challenge and receive email that gives more enrichment, encouragement, education and equipping in these 13 areas of intimacy. Take up the challenge and create a marriage that is red hot!

 

 

 

Pam and Bill Farrel international speakers, relationship experts and the authors of 45 books includingpam bill red umbrella rebecca Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, Red Hot Monogamy, 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband, and Red Hot Romance Tips for Women. Bill is the creator of Her Best Friend Phone App which sends one romantic idea a day to a man’s phone to wow and woo his wife. The Farrels have been happily married 36 years and together they are Co Directors of Love-Wise

 

 

 

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Summer Sizzle: Fan the Flame on Your Marriage

Monday, July 14th, 2014

 

red hot tips bill pam

Do you want something MORE for your MARRIAGE?

Do you long for a sex life that sizzles with your husband?

Do you long to see “that look” in your man’s eyes?

Do you want a strong stable marriage that creates a healthy positive environment for your children?

Recently, I ran a Red Hot Wife Challenge, based on our new book Red Hot Romance Tips for Women . This challenge gathers women (on a private facebook group)  to gain encouragement, equipping and inspiration as we  look at the 26 traits, A to Z that will help us become a more loving wife.

Learn more about the Red Hot Wife Challengered hot header

Buy Red Hot Romance Tips for Women now – softcover

Buy Red Hot Romance Tips for Women –digital form

Red Hot Romance Tips for Women  has also been used by women’s church groups (along with Pam’s book, 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband) to help women encourage and stand by other wives as they all seek to become better wives with more loving, solid marriages. Here are a few thank you’s some grateful wives sent after the last Red Hot Wife Challenge:)

  • red hot romance tips on bed“Being part of the Red Hot Wives challenge has helped me grow in Grace toward my husband. It’s helped me to stop and realize my words and actions toward him instead of focusing on his actions toward me. It’s also helped me grow in putting attention toward my marriage. I loved the daily tips and challenges that got me thinking about ways to love my husband”
  • “Being a part of this group helped me to realize a bunch of little things that I could be doing better as a wife to make sure that my marriage stayed alive! It’s a great book with some really helpful pointers that are actually doable!”
  • “The red hot tips have been very helpful and a great reminder to some very happy husbands of what it all started with years ago and how it can live and outlive us all….It is never too late to get serious about your marriage health and make 26 days of blessing and appreciating your husband,…. Thank you for taking on the challenge of writing and speaking . . . Heaven bless you for caring and taking your queues from the WORD and the Holy Spirit” – wife married 44 years

Our belief is that sex is a gift from God to protect and enjoy in marriage. Yes, sex was God’s shhh secretsecret a long time before it was “Victoria’s Secret!”

I believe God knew millions of women were vulnerable to getting sucked into Satan’s distortions, falsehoods,  and lies so God challenged me to write and offer a healthier alternative with a simple, Bibically-based, and candid book packed with ideas that can help a wife lavish her husband with love to add some spark, sizzle and success to their marriage.

My prayer has been, “Lord, don’t let women settle for shades of grey (or anything other color) when your plan for intimacy brings red hot lasting love.”

Go to our Red Hot Romance Tips for Women book page and see what you might be able to share with those in your circle of influence. You will find additional helps to share like:

  • A video from Pam explaining the heart and purpose of Red Hot Romance Tips for Wives
  •  A bonus extended version of the “Yummy” chapter (Is there such a thing as sexy foods?)
  • A “Seal it with a K.I.S.S.” worksheet: How to set romantic goals for your marriage A-Z Bookmark red Hot
  • Sample articles  like: “Success through Sistering” – about how a marriage can be strengthened when friends all commit to helping and supporting each other for the purpose of building a long lasting marriage.
  • What’s Does God Say is Okay in Sexual Expression? article
  • Pinterest bookmark with the 26 traits of a desirable wife, as a simple reminder that a woman can post on her mirror, in her Bible, or use as a book mark on her 26 day, or 26 week journey to become a more loving wife.
  • How to Be from A to Z: We gathered the common frustrations and complaints of husbands over the years and match with a Biblical quality of love a wife could learn that could help lower the fulfillment level in a love life.

foothills happy ever after valentine pix humor frame 40As YOU know, everyday can become a little more like a Valentine’s Day if a wife wants to extend love, affection, admiration, and support to her spouse. (Don’t worry, we are not letting the guys off the hook, Bill is busy working on helping the husbands!) Can you help us get the word out about Red Hot Romance Tips for Wives?

(The idea is to help the summer sizzle stay and have a long term positive benefit to a marriage). There will be more ideas, tips, scripture photos, and some giveaways.  Please “Like” the Bill and Pam Farrel facebook page, then share and repost the things I share during the challenge that point women to the Red Hot Wife Challenge.

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The Bible asks, An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. (Proverbs 31:10) The answer is fund in this little book!  You can join an army of Red Hot Wives around the world  willing to love their husband, and build a strong marriage, and create a healthy loving home for their kids!

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Love Me Not

Thursday, May 16th, 2013

 

Guest post by Pam’s mentee, Renee Fisher . . .

Breakups really hurt because

our hearts were never meant to experience heartbreak.

 

“The tree Adam and Eve ate from is called The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil (Genesis 3:5). It’s interesting that it
wasn’t enough for them to know; they had to taste and experience this (good versus evil). I got this idea from Ray Bentley, my pastor,  who shared recently just how crafty the enemy was. He chose his words carefully while deceiving Adam and Eve (who took the first bite).

They already knew God.

t was through this close and personal fellowship with God that they talked about all things. Even evil. But it wasn’t enough for Adam and
Eve to talk about the meaning of evil with God. They had to experience it for themselves.

 

That’s when sin entered the world.

 

It didn’t take long for heartbreak (sin) to take effect.

 

Soon Adam and Eve experienced loss. Cain, their first-born son, murdered their second-born son, Abel. Can you imagine the guilt
they must have felt for disobeying God, yet also the experience of grace when Eve gave birth to Seth, their third child (Genesis 4:25)?

 

As you navigate the realm of relationships in your own life, I encourage you to ask God to give you the wisdom to choose each
relationship wisely.

 

Proverbs 12:26 (NIV) says, “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” The hard part is letting God determine who is good.

 

That means no rebounds.

 No one-night stands.

 No more hiding.

 

Pursuing relationships peacefully and cautiously is a mandate designed by God for our
protection.
The proverb above doesn’t say you should only be cautious with opposite sex friendships—it’s both. Boundaries should be important
with same-sex friendships too.

The ultimate test of friendship—male or female—is time, which is why I believe it’s
important to be cautious.
Instead of jumping from one relationship into another, choose your friends wisely—even the ones who help you overcome heartbreak” (Loves Me Not, 2013).

 

Be encouraged friends!

 God never wastes a step on the journey of love.

I recently wrote a book entitled Loves Me Not and I’m so honored to share with you all today.

 

I wanted to focus solely on heartbreak and how to find healing God’s way. Isn’t that crazy to note that we were never meant to experience heartbreak? That’s what makes redemption so much more meaningful. Every tear I’ve cried over a boy. Every broken relationship I’ve experienced–God knows and He cares.

 

If you or anyone you know is currently experiencing a broken relationship or a breakup–I encourage you to pick up the eBook for only $2.99. (I will send over the link once its live on Amazon and Barnes and Noble).

 

Here are a few benefits you will gain from reading this book:

 

+ Why Guarding Your Heart Isn’t Enough

+ Can Men and Women Be “Just Friends”?

+ Desperate Singles

+ Breaking Up With “The One”

+ Why Changing Your Significant Other Won’t Work

+ The Right Way To Breakup

+ How To Handle A Breakup

+ How To Be Your Own (Single) Person

+ Why Breakups Are Hard

+ He (Jesus) Loves You!

 

Relationships are very important to me.

 

God had me wait over twelve years to meet my husband. It’s probably because God knew how long it would take to become the person He wanted me to be–instead of the
person I thought I wanted to be.

 

I can’t wait for you to read it and be encouraged.

Renee Fisher, the Devotional Diva®, is the spirited speaker
and author of Faithbook of Jesus, Not Another Dating Book, Forgiving Others, Forgiving Me, and Loves Me Not. A graduate of Biola University,
Renee’s mission in life is to “spur others forward” (Hebrews 10:24) using the lessons learned from her own trials to encourage others in their walk with God.
She and her husband, Marc, live in California with their dog, Star. Learn more about Renee at www.devotionaldiva.com.

 

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Is Your Love Healthy or Toxic ?

Thursday, August 16th, 2012

 

This small bit of writing from 10 Best Decisions a Single Can Make seems to help people decide if the relationship they are in is healthy or toxic. We all look at 1 Cor. 13 as God’s definition of  love.

And knowing Satan is a deceiver, I thought How would the Devil distort love? So I rewrote 1 Cor 13 using words OPPOSITE of what God has said about love to give a vivid word picture of just what it means to be TOXIC!

So if the person you are dating reflects 1 Cor. 13 from the Bible, that’s a GREEN light, Healthy Love; pursue that relationship. However, if he or she if closer to the Toxic Definition of Love, that is a RED Light, STOP (immediately!) If you are not married, end it and run far away from that relationship as possible because that person is unsafe! (Even if he or she has a few of the toxic traits, break up and challenge him or her to grow with God and become healthy with out yon the picture.) Let God repair and redeem that person before you even initiate a friendship again. Let them have time to prove he or she has moved from toxic to healthy love.  (If married, seek marriage counseling).

Feel free to post this picture on your Facebook, Tweet it, PIN it, email to a friend, use it in your ministry. Together let’s help people choose to BE HEALTHY in their relationships.  For much more on the topic, see our books: 10 Best Decisions a Single Can Make and Single Men Are Like Waffles, Single Women Are Like Spaghetti available at www.Love-Wise.com

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12 Ideas for Heart Connections During the Holidays

Tuesday, December 13th, 2011

Holidays are the season for friends and family. It can be a strategic time to build a relationship bridge to another’s heart. (See our Christmas newsletter for even more ideas:http://love-wise.com/Christmas2011) Here are a few examples on ways to connect heart to heart over the season:

(1) I (Pam) wrote, framed, then read my dad a “blessing” as a Christmas gift to help repair the relationship his drinking had caused. I prayed and asked God to show me one positive thing and then I wrote affirming words from that place of memory. (Read the blessing in 10 Best Decisions a Woman Can Make) Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven . . . (Ps 32:1). 

(2) I (Bill) instituted a weekly Bible study on Skype with our grown sons because we are spread over 4 states, yet long for close relationship. We all read the same book and call weekly (or monthly) and discussed a piece of what is read. (We began with Uncommon by Tony Dungy, and will work through my (Bill’s) 10 Best Decisions a Man Can Make in coming year). Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children. (Pr 17:6).

(3)Robin selected 3 gifts that applauded each of her children’s unique passions or personal calling. As you think about gifts, by focusing the choice and connecting it with a personal letter of blessing, it can help a child see themselves more clearly, more from heaven’s point of view. (See 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make) Train up a child in the way he should go . . .(according to his/her God-given bent) Proverbs 22:6

(4) One year when money was tight, I (Pam) made a simple paper angel for each preschooler of our extended family (including our three sons). We placed a chair in the center of the room and each person in the family, answered the question, “When I think about ______, what comes to mind is_________.” Each person gave a verbal blessing that was written down on that angel ornament, and each year that ornament hangs on the tree—many of the qualities people spoke out about that were seeds of character, that now almost 20 years later, have fully blossomed in those now adult “kids” lives. The LORD remembers us and will bless us . . .( Psalm 115:12)

(5) Carl wrote a blessing, purchased a necklace and a tiara and “blessed” his Modern Day Princess daughter with a personalized prayer and gift. The power of words read aloud can change the course of a person’s life. As he or she rereads a letter, they then “hear” your voice in their mind. (Raising a Modern Day Princess) The LORD takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory (Ps 149:4).

(6) Jeff apologized to his family and asked them to forgive him for the past choices he had made that stressed and harmed them. A true apology can bring a marriage back from the brink, call a prodigal home, or repair a strained friendship. Remember when apologizing–no excuses, no rationalizing, just a heartfelt, “I was wrong. I am sorry. Please forgive me” has more power. A truly “contrite” heart can be felt and seen by those who you are trying to rebuild with. An “I was wrong” can be powerful gift! (See Love, Honor and Forgive)

These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit. (Is 66:2).
(7) Julie and Kent created a marriage mission, and had the kids help design a family logo (or “seal” or “signet”. For help, see 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make or read and see examples from past ezine and blog) ” . . seal it with the king’s signet ring . . .” Esther 8:8.


(8)
Jen and Steve, one in college and one a young adult, used 10 Best Decisions a Single Can Make to write life goals in 8 major areas and gave a copy to their parents (so mom and dad would quit nagging and gain peace knowing their kids had “direction”) . HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), Ephesians 6:2
(9) For the newlyweds in the family, do what we did when we wrote 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make—interview those in the family who have long lasting love. One of my (Pam’s) most treasured possessions is an audio recording made one Christmas of my grandparents telling the story of how they fell in love and stayed happily married for 60 years. Oh, that my words were recorded, that they were written on a scroll. . . (Job 19:23).


(10)
Gina helped her newlywed kids lay a stronger foundation with the Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti DVD, a waffle maker, a pasta bowl and server as a gift. (A less expensive version is the Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti book, some waffle mix and package of pasta. You can upscale it with a gift certificate to a waffle house and pasta dinner restaurant can accompany the book. “He created them; male and female . . .” (Gen 1:27)

(11) Sandra planned a rite of passage for her soon to be 13 year old to welcome her into adolescence. (See Got Teens? for ways to mark the moments all through the teen years for both sons and daughters). If your child is near a transition (into kindergarten, jr high, high school, college or marriage, use this as a teachable moment and have your gift(s) reflect what is on the path ahead and prepare him or her to succeed by building into them wisdom.

Turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding . . .

 

(Prov 2:2).


(12)
Carolyn pulled several Farrel books, and a few others, off her shelf and scanned through the dinner and dialoque questions in the back of each book (or end of each chapter). She used many of these questions for “conversation starters” for the holiday meals where extended family and guests would be present. Planning conversation topics can ease the newcomer or help open up that “hard to get talking” person in your hospitality circle. . . . Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road . . . (Dt 6:7).

 

All these ideas will be more effective if you spend time while wrapping gifts, or cooking meals silently praying for each person you will be interacting with during your holiday celebrations.

Have a Merry, blessed, heart-felt Christmas!

(all resources available at www.Love-Wise.com)

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Wow Him!

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

 

With Christmas coming, just a reminder of want your husband might want under the tree is you!

In RedHot Monogamy, I give over 200 red hot ideas, and in my new book 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband,
I walk you thru one idea a week to make this his best year ever!

There are many euphemisms for sex and romance that are related to red, hot, or fire. Think about it, “Come on baby light my fire”, or “Hunka hunka burnin’ love,”  and Kathi Lipp, author of The Husband Project, is known for her t-shirt, “Married to a Hottie!”

Bill and I say in our book Red Hot Monogamy (sex) was  God’s secret long before it was Victoria’s secret! Sizzling sex doesn’t have to be saved for that once in a life time Hawaiian getaway—it can be HOT at HOME! Consider this acrostic for H.O.T and fan the flame to set the heart of your man aflame!

H is for Hear my Heart

Romance is personal. Maybe your love has wanted to experience something unique like:

  • Retro romance: Dress like you did on your first date! (Yes, consignment shops have clothes from the 70’- 90’s!)
  • Recreate Steam: Park in your own back yard like “Lover’s Lane” and steam up the car windows a bit.
  • Rescue Dinner:  Eat someplace different in your home: in front of the fire place, on the rooftop, on the patio or balcony out back, in the attic, under the tree in the back yard, etc.
  • Rendezvous: Create a luau in the living room: borrow some plants, get some island music, throw down some beach towels, bring in luau food, wear your sarong or bathing suit.

O is for Offer to Lower His Stress

Men, when surveyed for our book, Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti noted that what is romantic to them is a woman who will make their life easier.

  • Kidnap” your spouse and blind fold them and take him home for  a romantic rendezvous. (Send the kids to your best friends!)
  • Bring in breakfast in bed with an invitation to spend the whole day in bed.
  • Exercise together, ride a tandem bike, or dance in the living room.
  • Run a bubble bath by candlelight followed by a spa quality massage.

T is for Take Your Time to Romance Me

  • Relax: Sit in front of the fire place in each other’s arms and take turns reading poems to each other or flip through photo albums—or “get distracted” into some sizzling sex in a room you usually use for other purposes.
  • Recount: Creatively remind your man why you love him:
  • Use everyday items to send a unique set of messages: the title of a candy bar with a note that says, “You are a “Big Hunk” of Burning Love , or I’ “Red Hot: for your love.  Or use what is in your home: “I love to STAIR at you!” (note on stairs),  “You’ve opened the DOOR to my heart.” (note on door).
    • Write your own “feature” article about your spouse, the  “World’s Greatest Lover”. Include all his best traits as a lover, add in a picture of this famous lover and frame it!
    • Write on his bare back clues of  “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways” and see if he can guess why you have a “burning” desire him.
  • More ideas for recessin romance at http://love-wise.com/articles.php
  • Free chapter from 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband: http://harvesthousepublishers.com/book/52-ways-to-wow-your-husband-2011/
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