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Why Would We Want To “Save Our Girls”?

Thursday, October 4th, 2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One might wonder why a mom of three SONS would co-author a book called Raising a Modern Day Princess.
(Focus on the Family, co-authored with Doreen Hanna). Or ask you to join her to “save our girls”.

Well, I have spent a lifetime mentoring, discipling and equipping women and girls.

Hundreds of them.

And each year, I get more and more concerned about the world they face. Some days it is just HARD to be a woman of integrity, let
alone a girl pursuing goodness. They need our help.  (And God has asked us to mentor our girls: see 2 Tim.2:2, Titus 2:3-5)

Your daughters, the girls of the next generation, need YOU! They need me! Why?  Because their crown
is slipping! Consider these startling statistics from our book, Raising a Modern Day Princess:

  • One in three girls becomes pregnant before age 20.3
  • One in four will contract a STD (sexually transmitted disease)
  • Forty percent of girls at a contraceptive clinic are there without their parents’ knowledge.
  • One third of all teen pregnancies will end in an abortion.
  • Nearly one-third of all juvenile arrests are girls, and one-third of all property crimes are perpetrated by girls.
  • About one-quarter of all aggravated assaults are committed by girls.
  • Girls are more likely to be violent at home, and the victim more than any other is her mother.

(Watch this short video for even more on what girls face these days.  Read an excerpt of Modern Day Princess book at Focus  on the Family. )

 

So what can we do? What Can YOU do? (Pick any or all of the following):

Today’s girls need you . . can you help us “save our girls?”

Here is my heart’s motivation, my two granddaughters who I pray will be strong women of God in their generation- true Modern
Day Princesses
who walk as Daughters of our God, “The King of Kings”.

Together we can make a difference—for the girls!

October 17 @ noon

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special  possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you  out of darkness into His wonderful light. (1 Peter 2:9)

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12 Ideas for Heart Connections During the Holidays

Tuesday, December 13th, 2011

Holidays are the season for friends and family. It can be a strategic time to build a relationship bridge to another’s heart. (See our Christmas newsletter for even more ideas:http://love-wise.com/Christmas2011) Here are a few examples on ways to connect heart to heart over the season:

(1) I (Pam) wrote, framed, then read my dad a “blessing” as a Christmas gift to help repair the relationship his drinking had caused. I prayed and asked God to show me one positive thing and then I wrote affirming words from that place of memory. (Read the blessing in 10 Best Decisions a Woman Can Make) Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven . . . (Ps 32:1). 

(2) I (Bill) instituted a weekly Bible study on Skype with our grown sons because we are spread over 4 states, yet long for close relationship. We all read the same book and call weekly (or monthly) and discussed a piece of what is read. (We began with Uncommon by Tony Dungy, and will work through my (Bill’s) 10 Best Decisions a Man Can Make in coming year). Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children. (Pr 17:6).

(3)Robin selected 3 gifts that applauded each of her children’s unique passions or personal calling. As you think about gifts, by focusing the choice and connecting it with a personal letter of blessing, it can help a child see themselves more clearly, more from heaven’s point of view. (See 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make) Train up a child in the way he should go . . .(according to his/her God-given bent) Proverbs 22:6

(4) One year when money was tight, I (Pam) made a simple paper angel for each preschooler of our extended family (including our three sons). We placed a chair in the center of the room and each person in the family, answered the question, “When I think about ______, what comes to mind is_________.” Each person gave a verbal blessing that was written down on that angel ornament, and each year that ornament hangs on the tree—many of the qualities people spoke out about that were seeds of character, that now almost 20 years later, have fully blossomed in those now adult “kids” lives. The LORD remembers us and will bless us . . .( Psalm 115:12)

(5) Carl wrote a blessing, purchased a necklace and a tiara and “blessed” his Modern Day Princess daughter with a personalized prayer and gift. The power of words read aloud can change the course of a person’s life. As he or she rereads a letter, they then “hear” your voice in their mind. (Raising a Modern Day Princess) The LORD takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with victory (Ps 149:4).

(6) Jeff apologized to his family and asked them to forgive him for the past choices he had made that stressed and harmed them. A true apology can bring a marriage back from the brink, call a prodigal home, or repair a strained friendship. Remember when apologizing–no excuses, no rationalizing, just a heartfelt, “I was wrong. I am sorry. Please forgive me” has more power. A truly “contrite” heart can be felt and seen by those who you are trying to rebuild with. An “I was wrong” can be powerful gift! (See Love, Honor and Forgive)

These are the ones I look on with favor: those who are humble and contrite in spirit. (Is 66:2).
(7) Julie and Kent created a marriage mission, and had the kids help design a family logo (or “seal” or “signet”. For help, see 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make or read and see examples from past ezine and blog) ” . . seal it with the king’s signet ring . . .” Esther 8:8.


(8)
Jen and Steve, one in college and one a young adult, used 10 Best Decisions a Single Can Make to write life goals in 8 major areas and gave a copy to their parents (so mom and dad would quit nagging and gain peace knowing their kids had “direction”) . HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), Ephesians 6:2
(9) For the newlyweds in the family, do what we did when we wrote 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make—interview those in the family who have long lasting love. One of my (Pam’s) most treasured possessions is an audio recording made one Christmas of my grandparents telling the story of how they fell in love and stayed happily married for 60 years. Oh, that my words were recorded, that they were written on a scroll. . . (Job 19:23).


(10)
Gina helped her newlywed kids lay a stronger foundation with the Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti DVD, a waffle maker, a pasta bowl and server as a gift. (A less expensive version is the Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti book, some waffle mix and package of pasta. You can upscale it with a gift certificate to a waffle house and pasta dinner restaurant can accompany the book. “He created them; male and female . . .” (Gen 1:27)

(11) Sandra planned a rite of passage for her soon to be 13 year old to welcome her into adolescence. (See Got Teens? for ways to mark the moments all through the teen years for both sons and daughters). If your child is near a transition (into kindergarten, jr high, high school, college or marriage, use this as a teachable moment and have your gift(s) reflect what is on the path ahead and prepare him or her to succeed by building into them wisdom.

Turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding . . .

 

(Prov 2:2).


(12)
Carolyn pulled several Farrel books, and a few others, off her shelf and scanned through the dinner and dialoque questions in the back of each book (or end of each chapter). She used many of these questions for “conversation starters” for the holiday meals where extended family and guests would be present. Planning conversation topics can ease the newcomer or help open up that “hard to get talking” person in your hospitality circle. . . . Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road . . . (Dt 6:7).

 

All these ideas will be more effective if you spend time while wrapping gifts, or cooking meals silently praying for each person you will be interacting with during your holiday celebrations.

Have a Merry, blessed, heart-felt Christmas!

(all resources available at www.Love-Wise.com)

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Decisions Reduce Drama!

Friday, September 16th, 2011

 

Wow, this world needs some help in decision making! Recently, I felt a clash of value systems and the pressing need to mentor and create more women who are bright lights of hope in a world of foolish decisions and crazy beliefs. It all happened on one day. It started innocently enough with a hair cut appointment. I had received a coupon for free haircut, and when I arrived, this seemingly successful woman business owner, began sharing her  story as she cut my hair. She was a mom of several tween and teen kids and she was obviously very pregnant by her live-in boyfriend. My heart broke for those kids who had a mom who had lost her inner compass and sacrificed being a good role model for her own sexual needs. I thought of the contrast to the wisdom on raising teens in Got Teens? or 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make, or the precious Rite of Passage celebration in Raising a Modern Day Princess.

How can we hope to raise children to make wise choices if we are not willing to make them ourselves? I listened attentively and gave encouragement to seek premarital counsel and head toward marriage which seemed to be her plan and hope too. But what I knew she really needed was Jesus, so I shared my story of looking for love as a college student and only Jesus filling that need.

Then I went to a nail appointment. This is often a place where value systems clash. One day two loud intoxicated women with very low necklines, very high hems and even higher heels came in swearing and talking about things very inappropriate for a public place. I even spoke up to remind them of young ears that were within earshot. My requests for decorum, along with simultaneous pleas of the mom of the teen girls near were rebuffed.   I listened to one of the young woman lie to her fiancé about her plans that night. (“I am going to dinner with my parents” she told her fiancé and I had just heard her boisterously blaring her party plan with girlfriends to meet up with men and bar hop.) If I thought I could have been heard, I would have yelled to her fiancé on the phone, “Run from this toxic woman!”

That was a more unusual day in the beauty shop, but this day, after my haircut, the attack on traditional values was more subtle. It was a simple channel change on the TV from the local news to a soap opera. Seems with all the drama that regularly comes into the business, to select TV that might give wisdom might be a better choice than more of the same drama!

So it was with a welcome relief that afternoon to spend time with my mentee, Renee Johnson, at a shower I threw her. Renee, who has just turned 30, got engaged and is weeks away from her wedding. Renee is one of those young leaders who has sacrificed and taken the high road in ministry and in relationships.  Her book, The Faithbook of Jesus is a twist on the popular Facebook with the goals of giving a 365 devotional that her generation might read and then grow deeper in their walk with God.  (more by Renee: www.Devotionaldiva.com)  After a morning of drama, Renee’s integrity was a breath of fresh air, so I wanted you to meet her, because you might see her writing as a tool to help the next generation out of their drama and into dedication to God.  As the author of 10 Best Decisions a Woman Can Make, I am always encouraged when I meet a woman making good choices, or women like you, helping other women make wise choices too! Today when you see drama, try to give direction, you might just rescue a woman out of the soap opera or reality TV of her own life.

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