Archive for November, 2015

Legacy of Love

Monday, November 23rd, 2015

In September our newest granddaughter, the first born of our middle son and his wife, entered this world. We are a “far-flung

pic by Rebecca Jo Photography

pic by Rebecca Jo Photography

family” because we encouraged our sons to follow God’s clear call—wherever it might lead. So while we were visiting our new angelic bundle of joy we walked, rocked, sang and prayed over our beautiful new granddaughter. On days when the world seems crazy (like the night we prayed for those innocents murdered by terrorists in Paris, or sent money through WORLD HELP to get food to Christian families fleeing for their lives), on those kind of days, we reflect on the wisdom of God to send new life into our arms to give us all hope for a better, more loving tomorrow.

We also rejoiced over the wisdom, excellent parenting and nurturing we observe in our son and daughter in law. We know this little girl will grow up with some important advantages (just as our first three grandchildren do because our oldest and his wife are also terrific parents)

pix by Rebecca Friedlander

pix by Rebecca Friedlander


The one clear advantage is the power of a loving, intact, Christian marriage. Research is clear that children from two parent homes far better. In 10 Questions Kids Ask About Sex, we share a few statistics that should motivate each of us to learn to love a little more like God. (Click to read more of what grown-ups can do to question collage lifeguard verse 50better equip the next generation)

For example, children with both a mom and dad in the home have higher grades, less likely to have a teen pregnancy, less likely to go to jail, less likely to commit suicide—important things like that!  But coming from a home of divorce myself, I know God is a GREAT Father, and if an individual is willing to hold TIGHT to Jesus, God can redeem, restore, and remake a life.  This means all of us at Love-Wise have a clear mission to help prepare each individual to love as God loves. Our goal is to equip people before they are married, strengthen those who are married, and repair and reignite those who have had broken hearts, all to reflect God’s love and pass it as a legacy to the next generation. To accomplish this lofty goal, we must intersect God’s wisdom with God’s love and this will produce “Love-Wise” individuals, couples, families and churches.

brock eden baptism,Most recently, our oldest granddaughter asked Jesus in her life, went on her first mission’s trip to India and was baptized to proclaim her dedication to be a bright light of God’s love. She has a sensitive heart toward others and her sincere faith is inspiring to we, her grandparents, too!

      We are THANKFUL for all of you- our readers, our audience members, leaders who have trusted us to speak at your churches, conference centers and corporations. Teaming together we can shine a brighter light of God’s love. (To get a monthly relationship encouragement from Pam and Bill  input your email at

One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts  (Ps 145:4)



Be a Hero! Parents On Guard!

Thursday, November 5th, 2015


question collage lifeguard verse 50We live in San Diego, so going to the beach is a common activity. As prudent parents, and now grandparents, we always select beaches with a lifeguard on duty. From their viewpoint in the tower, they have a vantage point that helps them spot dangerous rough waves, hidden under currents or predatory animals that could attack innocent swimmers. Those lifeguards are also on call to help rescue those who might get into troubled waters while at the beach. In short, they are heroes because they protect lives. To succeed they must do a few things well: remain vigilant while on guard, communicate warnings, and respond swiftly to needs.

In the Old Testament, God commanded  leaders to be “watchmen on the wall” with very similar duties: In Ezekiel 3:17 God rouses the prophet: “Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the people of Israel; so hear the word I speak and give them warning from me.”  In !0 Questions Kids Ask About Sex, we explain that YOU, as a caring parent,  are like the vigilant watchman.

While we were parents, youth leaders, then pastors working with families, we developed several proven tools that helped our children navigate safely through the ever changing rough waters of culture and the dangerous under currents of societal immorality. Our sons made it safely to shore. They were young men with relationship integrity who have become godly leaders married to godly young women. In addition, families who have used these tools have also seen a much higher rate of seeing their own children make wise relationship and life choices.  Here is a list of tools we are very grateful that God allowed us to develop, and since it is back to school time, think of it as easy as A, B, C:

A is for Ask: Kids will ask questions, so we parents should have answers. And sometimes, it is we parents who should ask questions of our kids, tweens, teens and college students need to develop answers for. In 10 Questions Kids Ask About Sex we prepare your to talk with your kids (pre-school through premarital) giving bullet points and wording to use to explain the “birds and bees” at each age and stage.

B is for Baton Pass: Our job is to work ourselves out of a job by preparing our kids for life- then passing the baton. Raising a

Raising a Modern-Day Princess Modern Day Princess (and Becoming a Modern Day Princess Journal) and for guys, Raising a Modern Day Knight  are rite of passage programs churches or parents can use to prepare a young person for adulthood, and mark the moment with a spiritual celebration.

C is for Contracts: Spell things out. In our book 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make, we explain how to  lay a strong foundation of character using our Learner and Leaders Who Love God contract of privileges and responsibilities, a fun family day accompanied with a gift and prayer each year before school begin. The gift is selected based on three things.

It is:

  • Practical, something I might have to buy anyway.
  • Personal. The child should be able to tell I thought about the gift.
  • Prophetic, meaning that it speaks the truth about the uniqueness, the calling or the strength we see God building into each child.

Then, we add in more tools and conversations, year after year.  Desire, hormones, love, sex—these topics are much too important to leave to innuendo, guess work or hint! We use a set of agreements to have those very important conversations:

Teen Relationship Contract is an interactive tool with verses on God’s views on managing relationships and sexuality in a wholesome way.

Driving Contract is a series of questions to gain agreement of all the details that come with the privilege of driving.

Media contract helps those as young as 8 thru college make wise choices on use of all types of media.

Education contract helps parents of teens and college students gain unity on the best plan for a young person’s future.

Freshman Foundation is a series of 5 Dinner and dialogue questions covering vital areas a college student needs to take responsibility for to succeed.

Yes, God is calling you to be the Lifeguard, the “watchman” over your children’s lives, but what is really needed is a host of parents willing to train their own kids to become watchmen—lifeguards—HEROS to their own generation, as well.

brock 11 football pix series 10 best parent

Above  is a photo series of our oldest son, as he grew into a Learn and Leader who Loves God– and now he is leading his own family– tickle brock hannah grandkids rebeccawith their own unique way of doing learner and leader days too.

Our goal– and YOURS– is to complete the baton handoff, generation after generation:

Posterity will serve him; future generations will be told about the Lord. They will proclaim his righteousness, declaring to a people yet unborn: He has done it! (Psalm 22:30–31).

Pam and Bill Farrel are international speakers, authors of 40 books on marriage and family including 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make and 10 Questions Kids Ask About Sex. Find out more about their many parenting resources and the Talking to Your Kids About the Birds and Bees seminar at