Archive for November, 2011

Where Are They Now?

Monday, November 21st, 2011


If you asked us, “What one parenting decision would you make
sure you did again? “ We would answer, The
Family Compass.
Having a family Mission Statement, Motto and Moniker gave
our boys an internal ethical GPS to navigate today’s ever-changing moral landscape.
In 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make, we walk you through questions to help you form your own Family Compass. We also share examples of our mission, motto and moniker. But what is the motivation behind all the work that is needed to be this proactive?

The outcome!

We raised our boys with a simple motto from 1 Samuel 2:30, “
. . .those who honor God, God honors . . .”
. Our Moniker has symbols that convey our family’s values:

The 3 “L’s” stand for Learner, Leader, and Love God- things
we prayed our sons would be.

The two hearts mean Farrels keep their promises, especially in

The cross with the star means that each person is a unique
creation of God and beginning a personal relationship with Jesus, then walking
in obedience to God’s Word releases you to live out your full potential.

So where are our boys now? All three are Learners (all three got college
scholarships, two have Master’s degrees and the youngest is currently studying
engineering); They are all Leaders:
Brock is now a football coach and high school teacher;

Zach is a performance Coach at a major university;






Caleb is a leader on his football team in college;

and they all Love God and are fully engaged growing in their faith and serving
God. Brock is also married to a godly woman leader, Hannah, and together they
are raising their children (our granddaughters) to love God too!


A few Christmases ago, when all the kids were financially
strapped college students and Caleb was in high school, I (Pam) knew they
couldn’t afford a gift for me so I said, “All I want for Christmas is words
that make me cry”. Bill asked each son to write a letter to me and he placed
their letter over a picture of each of them performing the sport they got
college scholarships competing in. In every one of the letters, each son
thanked us for raising them to live by, “those that honor God, God honors”—

The compass works!

Use this holiday to bring the family into the fun process of
designing your own family crest.  (Order 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make
or 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make to learn more.)


Unplanned . . . hope for life

Monday, November 14th, 2011


One of my amazing interns, Audrea Taylor, one
of the founders of an amazing youth organization, im2morro, has this to say
about a new thought provoking DVD by Tyndale, Unplanned:


On college campuses
around the country it is not uncommon to see young people wearing bright pink
t-shirts recruiting for Planned Parenthood. Although they are drawn in by a
desire to help women in crisis, they are greatly misled on the purpose of the
organization. As a young college girl, Abby
trying to find her life’s passion, is swept in by the creative
marketing and fancy rhetoric of Planned Parenthood. Soon, she was volunteering,
working and then directing a Planned Parenthood clinic in Bryan, Texas. One
day, after assisting in an abortion, she realized that she had been deceived
into fighting for the wrong side. Abby Johnson made national headlines as she
crossed over to the pro-life side. Today God is using this former Planned
Parenthood director as a leading voice in the pro life movement. In her DVD
unplanned, Abby Johnson takes us on her extraordinary journey of faith, courage
and conviction.


From Pam: Bill and I were
guests of the CEO of Alternatives Women’s
Center, and we heard the story of Abby through the eyes of Shawn Carney, the
young man who ran the Pro- Life Crisis Pregnancy clinic in Abby’s community. It
was to Shawn’s office Abby came when she wanted to repent and restart her
Christian walk. To me this is a wonderful example to pray for the babies to be
saved, the moms to choose life and those that work in all the Planned
Parenthood and other abortion clinics to find life in Jesus too. Jesus is there
for ALL of us—and all of those women, babies and yes, even the leaders on the
other side of the abortion fence. Only God can unravel the trauma of Roe V Wade
and provide a correct view of life—that is ALL LIFE IS VALUABLE.


My favorite quote from Shawn’s message was a
story of Mother Teresa at a white House dinner. She was asked by one of the
high ranking women at the event, “Why do you think in America with all its
freedoms, that a woman has not yet been elected President.” Mother Teresa
simply replied, “You probably aborted her.” With  approximately 115,000 abortions
, we need savvy tools and smart leaders to help us save lives and
rebuild women harmed by abortion.


Highly Recommend Unplanned
and Shawn Carney’s 40 Days of

PS: Focus on the Family has a CD with both Abby and Shawn as guests

Clips of media interviews


you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful

Ps 139:13–14


Sin Always Leaves a Wake

Friday, November 11th, 2011


We enjoy boating and jet skiing. Once you are on the water, if you look back, you will see a wake. The bigger the boat, the faster the boat– the
bigger the wake. And so it is with sin. Recently the headlines remind us of the traumatic results of one man’s sin at Penn State, the wake of sin is much more common than any of us would want to believe. Here is an excerpt from my book, 10 Best Decisions a Woman Can Make, that also describes how sin leaves a wake:

There is a sin, a secret sin, which someone now is keeping.

She tells herself, “It’s no big deal, it’s personal. It hurts no one, so in my life I’m keeping.”

Envy makes jealousy, jealousy makes flirting, flirting makes opportunity, opportunity makes temptation,temptation makes possibility, possibility makes intrigue,intrigue makes excitement,Excitement makes an invitation,invitation makes an affair, an affair breaks a marriage vow, a
broken marriage vow breaks:

Her husband’s heart

Her children’s hearts

Her parents’ hearts

Her friends’ hearts

Her pastor’s heart

Her leader’s heart

Her Lord’s heart

Her witness

Her future

Her children’s future

Her finances

Her secret sin ripples.

There was a sin,

a secret sin,

that someone once was keeping.

It became a sin,

A public sin, and now everyone is

Pastor Tony Folio of Sunrise Church in San Diego is known for saying, “Sin takes you further than you wanted to go;Keeps
you longer than you wanted to stay; and costs you more than you wanted to pay!”

Bill and I estimate that for every hour of sin, it can take over 200 hours of counseling, meetings, regrouping, etc to unravel the mess made in the wake of a sin. How much better to simply take God’s advice:

“. . .we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5)

The picture here is to lock up any wrong thoughts like a prisoner of war. It is so much better to place our thoughts “behind bars” than to let them run and end up incarcerated with a wake of pain behind any destructive behaviors and choices.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be
healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16)

If you are struggling, acknowledge your sin, unburden your burden to God AND a trained clergy or counselor.

Stop the wake before it starts.




Wow Him!

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011


With Christmas coming, just a reminder of want your husband might want under the tree is you!

In RedHot Monogamy, I give over 200 red hot ideas, and in my new book 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband,
I walk you thru one idea a week to make this his best year ever!

There are many euphemisms for sex and romance that are related to red, hot, or fire. Think about it, “Come on baby light my fire”, or “Hunka hunka burnin’ love,”  and Kathi Lipp, author of The Husband Project, is known for her t-shirt, “Married to a Hottie!”

Bill and I say in our book Red Hot Monogamy (sex) was  God’s secret long before it was Victoria’s secret! Sizzling sex doesn’t have to be saved for that once in a life time Hawaiian getaway—it can be HOT at HOME! Consider this acrostic for H.O.T and fan the flame to set the heart of your man aflame!

H is for Hear my Heart

Romance is personal. Maybe your love has wanted to experience something unique like:

  • Retro romance: Dress like you did on your first date! (Yes, consignment shops have clothes from the 70’- 90’s!)
  • Recreate Steam: Park in your own back yard like “Lover’s Lane” and steam up the car windows a bit.
  • Rescue Dinner:  Eat someplace different in your home: in front of the fire place, on the rooftop, on the patio or balcony out back, in the attic, under the tree in the back yard, etc.
  • Rendezvous: Create a luau in the living room: borrow some plants, get some island music, throw down some beach towels, bring in luau food, wear your sarong or bathing suit.

O is for Offer to Lower His Stress

Men, when surveyed for our book, Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti noted that what is romantic to them is a woman who will make their life easier.

  • Kidnap” your spouse and blind fold them and take him home for  a romantic rendezvous. (Send the kids to your best friends!)
  • Bring in breakfast in bed with an invitation to spend the whole day in bed.
  • Exercise together, ride a tandem bike, or dance in the living room.
  • Run a bubble bath by candlelight followed by a spa quality massage.

T is for Take Your Time to Romance Me

  • Relax: Sit in front of the fire place in each other’s arms and take turns reading poems to each other or flip through photo albums—or “get distracted” into some sizzling sex in a room you usually use for other purposes.
  • Recount: Creatively remind your man why you love him:
  • Use everyday items to send a unique set of messages: the title of a candy bar with a note that says, “You are a “Big Hunk” of Burning Love , or I’ “Red Hot: for your love.  Or use what is in your home: “I love to STAIR at you!” (note on stairs),  “You’ve opened the DOOR to my heart.” (note on door).
    • Write your own “feature” article about your spouse, the  “World’s Greatest Lover”. Include all his best traits as a lover, add in a picture of this famous lover and frame it!
    • Write on his bare back clues of  “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways” and see if he can guess why you have a “burning” desire him.
  • More ideas for recessin romance at
  • Free chapter from 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband: