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Ask Bill and Pam

Q: Creative Conflict Resolution

A: Q: What is the most creative advice you know to calm a conflict or keep an argument from escalating? A: In our book, 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make, we tell a story of a visit to the home of some newcomers to our church, Frank and Kendyl. After being in their beautiful, stylish home just a few minutes, I began to notice small bowls of baby sized Snickers bars all over their home. Curious, I asked Kendyl, “Why so many snickers? Does someone really like them?” Frank and Kendyl grinned at each other and with a twinkle in his eyes, Frank laughed and then explained that he and Kendyl were both first born, so early in their marriage they had many conflicts because they both always thought they were right. Sometimes anger flared, or word were spoken out of frustration that they each regretted so instead of counting to 10 to calm down, one of them decided that the time it took to chew and swallow a fun-sized "Snickers" TM was the perfect amount of time to  regain serenity and unity. Frank and Kendyl were married for decades -- Then recently, Frank was ushered into heaven. Frank and Kendyl have ...